“It seems like the millennial generation is a little bit of a cultural punching bag,” said the famous American journalist, Audie Cornish. It is true that the Gen-Y has a reputation for cultural rebellion – their lifestyle choices are mostly driven by an anti-consumerist streak, the complete opposite of Baby Boomers.
A few examples include the gradual destruction of car and home ownership culture, extreme reliance on digital technology, and delay in settling down. Millennials believe in curating romance and marriage to fit their frame for life, and not the other way around.
For the very first time in the history of mankind has marriage become an option instead of a necessity. Brooke Gen, a relationship coach, says that this fascinating cultural shift is an opportunity for Gen-Y to redefine marriage so that it’s approached with greater mindfulness and reverence.
In this article, let’s dive deep into the millennial mindset to understand how this generation is adding its personal twist to marriage, weddings, and romance.
The Shift of Gender Roles
It may all have started with the fight for women’s voting rights, but Gen-Y seems to completely reject traditional gender roles. Statista reports that while 81% of the silent generation was married between the ages of 23 and 38, the numbers went down to 61% for Baby Boomers, and further down to 44% for millennials.
Is there a direct correlation between gender role rejection and marital delays? Yes and no. Yes because millennial women particularly value a successful career over family life. This is one of the primary reasons for postponing marriage. But the Gen-Y is by no means saying no to marriage or parenthood.
If anything, this generation wants to marry right and women are looking for partners, not exactly a household head (patriarch). This belief showcases itself throughout the different phases leading up to, during, and after millennial marriages, as follows –
Before Marriage
In the previous generations, a woman had little say in the choice of her spouse, with dating being an unthinkable concept. While arranged marriages were never really a Western approach, men and women certainly did not have as many liberties as they do today.
Now, women are taking their time to assess a man, with many couples choosing live-in relationships to test their compatibility. Pew Research even found that 69% of Americans believe that cohabitation is acceptable even if the couple does not end up marrying.
After Marriage
Once the nuptial and honeymoon phase is over, the spirit of shared effort remains intact among millennial couples. Earlier, the wife used to stay home and look after the children, but millennials believe in continuing up the corporate ladder.
In fact, a Pew Research Center study earlier this year revealed that American women are increasingly taking up the role of breadwinner.
Some even earn more than their husbands and both share household responsibilities to make their marriage work. In some cases, there is even a reversal of roles as the man stays at home while the wife works at the office.
Skipping Diamond Rings and Exploring a List of Gems by Leibish
Millennials are even keeping their engagement an elaborate affair, breaking away from traditions. One such detour is that of choosing a sapphire engagement (or even wedding) ring as opposed to the classic diamond.
For some couples, this choice is based on the information that sapphire is rarer than diamond, highly durable, and relatively affordable. Some could even be inspired by Kate Middleton’s iconic sapphire ring.
Sapphire is not the only option modern couples have. They can explore a list of precious stones in alluring colors, each one having a meaning that makes it unique. Ruby, emerald, tanzanite, and aquamarine are some of the most popular gemstones for engagement rings.
And of course, those looking to stick with the basics can always go for diamonds, and play with designs and settings. Customized jewelry leaves plenty of room for experimentation.
Dropping Wedding Traditions in a Heartbeat
Just like millennials are willing to turn marriage upside down, they leave no stone unturned when it comes to engagement and wedding celebrations. At least the following areas have already received a characteristic millennial twist –
Catering
Gen-Y can be called the generation that misses nothing when it comes to weddings. True to their name, millennials have their culinary priorities in place – some couples have introduced multi-cuisine options inspired by Instagram’s “foodporn” hashtag. Others are sharing their enthusiasm for seasonal, local produce through green and vegan options.
The meal choices are not bland and similar (the usual chicken roast and fish fries). Millennials have developed the concept of charcuterie boards, grazing tables, food trucks, and custom feasting banquets for their guests’ varied tastes.
Venue
Gone are the days when the bride and groom happily walk out hand-in-hand from a church building. Instead of getting married in a cathedral and organizing a reception in a banquet hall, millennial weddings are all about choosing venues that double up as wedding and reception areas.
Couples are selecting venues based on a decided theme – beach vibes, Cottagecore, fairytale, country style, etc. This is why venues like beaches, thick forests, mountaintops, and vineyards or barns are becoming popular.
In some cases, the bar is set even higher with couples saying their vows in a distillery, underwater, or even the school (where they met or studied together).
Gifts
Since millennials are marrying later than their Boomer counterparts, it is natural that gifting traditional chinaware makes no sense. This generation is more focused on gathering life experiences in lieu of stuff, so their gift registry is reflective of their preferences.
Some of the common millennial wedding gifts include favorite concert tickets, a snorkeling trip to Hawaii, charitable donations, and a romantic honeymoon to the Maldives, among others.
Entertainment
If you were to ask a Baby Boomer, their idea of wedding entertainment is to boogie down and show some moves. While millennials are maintaining the tradition of enjoying their first dance as a couple, they’re not making the entire event about that dance.
Many couples are bringing in exciting options, including a live painter like Maggie Smith Kuhn, or keeping guests entertained with synchronized swimming performances. Some couples are even introducing fun games in which all guests can engage and play.
More Meaningful Relationships with a Stronger Sense of Identity
The preceding generations had little time to explore themselves and their interests before marriage was thrust upon their faces. Where the typical woman married at the age of 21 and the man at the age of 23, the same numbers have today become 26 and 28 respectively.
In some cases, it is not surprising to find women still unmarried in their mid-thirties dating around with men in their forties. In the meantime, these individuals have gathered more life experiences in the form of climbing corporate ladders, traveling across the world, and trying out different hobbies and interests.
Rebekah Montgomery is a clinical psychologist who believes that such valuable experiences come with both ups and downs. They allow the individual to develop a stronger sense of identity as they’re more aware of their likes, strengths, weaknesses, preferences, etc. Thus, millennials are more financially stable and emotionally developed than their parents would have been at the time of their marriage.
When both adults share a strong identity, they know who they are, what they want, and where they see themselves in the future. Once important life values are discovered, it becomes easier to find a compatible partner who shares similar values. This is the reason why millennials tend to share successful and meaningful relationships with their spouses.
Final Thoughts
Is marriage undergoing a millennial revolution? Likely, because the three top reasons why this generation is postponing marriage include financial instability, young age, and not finding someone with the right qualities. These three would be reasons the silent generation or even the Baby Boomers would never think about.
Another interesting thing is that the Gen-Y considers wedding planning to be as stressful as holding a full-time job! These shifts from the norm show the essence of the millennial existence – rejection of nihilism through the discovery of meaning and happiness in everything they do.
