Domestic abuse is, unfortunately, an extremely common experience today.
In spite of the significant progress society has made with respect to equity and equality over the past century, misogyny and patriarchal norms continue to enable the proliferation of dangerous spousal behaviour – from acts of domestic violence themselves to police inaction in investigating domestic abuse allegations.
According to statistic shared by the National Centre for Domestic Violence, one in five UK adults experience domestic abuse at some point in their lives.
When you analyse this statistic further, you find the balance of experience leans heavily towards women, one in four of whom are exposed to such abuse. Escaping spousal abuse can seem impossible from within, but there are escape routes – and here, we will examine some key steps on that journey.
1. Recognising Domestic Abuse and Its Impact
First, there are many in abusive relationships that aren’t aware their experiences classify as abuse. This is because spousal domestic abuse covers a field of behaviours, beyond the widely-understood definition of domestic abuse as physical violence against another member of the household.
For instance, many domestic abusers are abusive on account of controlling the house’s finances, or using psychological manipulation to denigrate and control their partner. Abuse is more than physical; it covers emotional and financial abuse, too.
2. Seeking Immediate Help and Support
If you suspect yourself to be in an abusive relationship, you may also understand that attempting to leave could be a dangerous move. Not having a support network to go to is practically a function of most abusers’ behaviour, and can make escaping difficult.
This is why women’s charities like Refuge and Women’s Aid exist: to help those in difficult situations, whether by providing advice on next steps or putting resources in place to enable an escape.
3. Understanding Your Legal Rights
Naturally, there are robust legal protections available for victims of domestic abuse – though their real-world application has historically been lacking, by virtue of institutional prejudices interfering with the proper pursuit of justice.
The key mechanisms in place to protect women escaping abusive partners include restraining orders and – more directly – Domestic Abuse Protection Orders (DAPOs) that help ensure safety from immediate further harm.
4. Planning for a Divorce Safely
Criminal law isn’t the only thing on your side. As a married spouse, divorce is an inevitable next step – and civil law can work in your favour with respect to getting equitable treatment. Provided you get the right advice from specialist professionals, you can navigate the divorce process with as little issue as possible.
5. Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce
The final step is by no means the hardest, but can represent a lifetime’s work in its own right. Freeing yourself from an abusive environment is one step, but rebuilding your life in the aftermath is another entirely.
From finding secure accommodation to rebuilding your finances, there are many steps before you’ll feel truly free from the grip of that which came before – but one by one, and with the help of aforementioned charities, you’ll be sure to get there.
